Remembering to Rest and Be Thankful

Jared and I can often feel as though we’re in the midst of a whirlwind. We have plans, projects, and a timeline, yet we’ll find ourselves in some sort of limbo, taking back-steps to go forward, and not knowing what our next move (literal or metaphorical) will be. We have to be patient and wait, knowing that our plans will take a little more time, and a little more strategizing. But we’re ready to live them now, and tired of waiting.

It wears on us–all these projects (literature for Jared, art & design for me) that are developing in our minds–and have been for years–with no form that we can yet see; our future home where we’ll finally get to settle down–at least for a little while; and that ideal lifestyle that we’ve been working towards filled with time together, good food, a nice rhythm, and peace.

We do have parts of these things. And we’ve already come so far. But we’ll still feel this way–trapped in limbo again, unsure of where we’ll be next. Our temporary living situation (a room above my mother-in-law’s garage with a homemade kitchen that doesn’t have running water and a bathroom with a two and a half foot high door and no shower) acts as a thick fog covering everything that we’ve accomplished so far. And my husband’s long work days are a constant reminder of what we’ve wanted to avoid all along. We don’t want much–not much material-wise that is–but sometimes it feels as if we’ve been trekking through knee-deep snow in order to get to it.

Snow in NH

When my emotions start to run, and the world around me fills with fog, I have to just stop and be calm. And in doing so I always see (eventually, when the air clears) that we’re actually so much closer to what we hope for than we realize. We have a daughter, and another child on the way, and having a family has been our ultimate goal all along. Everything else is just a way to live how we want within our family, and a way to accomplish the projects that drive us forward.

Fae on the porch

The path that we’ve chosen is realistic for us. We just need to remember that we already have most of what we want (or at least the works of it), and that we are, in fact, going in the right direction. We have each other, we’ve started our family, we know what we want to create (and how we’re going to do it), and we know how we want to live (and how to accomplish that as well). We just need to make some choices on how to best fill in the meantime, without getting discouraged, and remember to be thankful for what we do have.

Wordsworth Quote on Being Thankful

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5 responses to “Remembering to Rest and Be Thankful

  1. We also, lived with my in-laws for awhile, just so we could pay down our debt. It was excruciating! A “fog” really is a perfect way to describe it. But now that we are coming out the other side, and things are moving forward, everything is so much brighter, and more free. Sometimes in life you just have to put your head down, and push on through, but it can be so worth it in the long run:)

    • That’s very true. It’s nice to hear that you guys are coming out the other side. It’s hard feeling like you have to back-step in order to move forward–especially when you have children.

      • It’s just best to keep thinking of how great it will be in the future. It’s better to get all this grunt work done while they are so little, so that you can have the great adventures together when they’re a little older.

  2. I can relate to this post so much. I haven’t blogged in almost four months, but we are going through a very similar situation. Circumstances have forced us to pack up our belongings, put most of them in storage, and move in with Sean’s parents for a three month period. It has been hard to resist the temptation for self-pity and despair. Being pregnant and having a little one just makes you crave the security of your own living space to nest and create “home.” I hope this time moves swiftly for you and that you are able to stay present and enjoy what is.

    • Thanks Hayley. I hope this goes quick for you too. We plan on moving in February/March, which feels a little close to my due date in early April. I wish we could have something already lined up. The mystery of where we’ll be having our baby is making this harder. I do just want to settle into a place and have that security.

      Do you at least have a space of your own where you are? We’re pretty self-sufficient over here, but it’s hard to have to plan trips into the house for showers and doing dishes–and hard enough as it is to no longer have a spacious apartment. I have no idea what I’d be feeling without having my own space though.

Any thoughts? I love hearing from you.

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