The past few months mark profound growth in Fae, but she hasn’t changed. It actually somewhat irritates me when people say that she’s “changed,” because she hasn’t, not one bit.
Don’t mistake me. I know what they mean.
But she is still the same little girl I’ve known always. She still caresses her hair with her hand, just as she did in my womb (I saw her do this on an ultrasound video). She still tucks her legs into the bend at my waist as she falls asleep. She still gets frustrated easily, even though I’m incredibly patient. She’s still very demanding, a little like me. She’s fiery, silly, bold, passionate, and incredibly loving, affectionate, and happy–as she’s always been. But now, at 18 months, she’s a full-blown toddler.
And now that Fae’s running around, doing ballet, playing guitar, getting herself ready for things (trying to, that is), I can really see the little girl that she’s growing into. She’s so busy. And so proud of herself when she understands that she’s accomplished something. I’m not saying that Fae does ballet because she can spin in a circle. I’m saying it because of a new tradition: when her daddy gets home and puts on some music (which is always classical, incidentally), she runs over and starts dancing, gently and expressively, and says ”ballet” (or “baa”) as she smiles at us with a proud expression. She’s really figuring it out, and making big connections.
Fae loves hugging her dolls and animals. She has a little wooden doll set that she’s beginning to pretend with. She loves stacking her blocks and organizing and moving objects around. She still loves playing with the clean laundry, but now, in addition to that, she’ll choose some of my panties (usually the lacey ones) out of the drawer and wear them around her neck. After the panties water may be her favorite thing–along with our cat.
Fae and Fia have become good friends. Fae will call her over with little kisses and the opening and closing of her hand, like I do, and the kitty will often come. Other times Fae will chase Fia around our home yelling, trying to grab her, and attempting to pick her up. But she’s learning, slowly, that Fia doesn’t like that. We lucked out with our very calm, gentle cat.
I’m so excited to be seeing Fae’s interests forming. Jared and I have had many discussions about how we want to notice all of this. We want to be able to guide her in what she loves, and provide opportunities for her to take her interests further.
She’s a creative girl with so much beautiful energy. She consumes herself in little projects and comes over to me for help. She’s learning new words every day, and is continually impressing me by the extent to which she understands me. She hums little songs on our daily walks (and sometimes as she nurses), and pauses to mimic the cawing of the crows. She’s learning to be patient–I’m stunned by how often I say “patience” each day. She loves to give perfect little kisses to Jared and me, her dolls, the kitty, and even our books. And when my husband and I hug, she squeezes herself between our legs, looks up, and smiles. And my heart melts, every time.
At one-and-a-half years old my daughter is even more radiant, beautiful, and sweet. Her spirit is so large that it fills the room. I couldn’t be more pleased with my relationship with her.
Fae and I seem to be very telepathic. She’s nap-nursing right now, and (for the second time today) she just said exactly what I was thinking at that precise moment. I’ve always thought that we were tightly bound in this way, but now that she’s learning to talk, I’m seeing proof.